Tangled Up In You
by x.Xtreme Beauty.x
Summary: "In this world, where nothing else is true... here I am, still tangled up in you," After a long four months without her, he was nearly driven to suicide, will he end his life? Shawn Michaels x OC FEAT A7X oneshot


The sharp metal tip was skidded down his tan muscular arms... Slowly the slit began to open up, and crimson began to let out. The warm blood cascaded down his arms and dripped into the skin. He looked away from the mess he had yet again placed amongst himself. He studied himself, and looked into his own deep blue eyes... so much laid behind those eyes. Depression, anger, self hatred, blame guilty, emptiness, agony. But worst of all; the numbness. He'd rather be tortured in the worst possible form, than to have to deal with the emptiness again.

This was all because of her. It was all her fault... if she had never left, he would have never been in this mess. His mood swayed into loneliness as the thought of her face went through her mind. Two years they were together... the most beautiful two years of his life. But one day, she was just gone. Without any notice or words. She was just gone, like she fell off the face of the Earth. Shawn had been like this since November. It was a long four months. He had spent countless day and nights just so caught up in the pain that he would scream and cry himself to sleep. He constantly slit open his wrists to make sure he was still alive, just because he felt so dead all of the time. She ruined him, without even an explanation.

Her blue eyes resembled his... his gaze dropped from his own reflected eyes down to his bloody arms. The knobs on the sink squeaked as he twisted them on. Patiently, he waited for it to get hot, then he ran his arm under it. The blood washed away from his arm, and down into the sink, then down the drain. He watched intently, then pulled away and let more blood form. He repeated this process for a few moments. But then he finally pulled away and he wrapped an arm around his still some what bleeding wound.

The floor board creaked when he stepped onto them after leaving his bathroom and walking into his bedroom. He glanced around, the room seemed so empty. Pictures of he and her filled the room, making it hard to look at. There was a soft murmur of music playing in the background...

The roar of a guitar was heard, then a man screaming in absolute agony was heard singing in the song. He couldn't make out the words, but the music was getting closer... but the question was, where was it coming from?

He just shrugged it off... it was probably just someone riding down the street. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a wooden box that was buried underneath his clothes.

Suddenly, he stopped when her heard the front door open.

-Day before&girl-

"Jay, you have mail," Zacky announced, and tossed her an envelope from across the room. She stretched her arms out and to her surprise, she caught it.

"I'm so awesome," She commented on her actions then giggled to herself.

Zacky nodded, "Pretty much. But you were way awesomer as a wrestler, sis."

Julia rolled her eyes, "That was my past bro..." She sighed to herself... she left so much behind in her past. Stuff that she had no intention of telling anyone.

"Well, I think you need to. I'm sick of you mooching off of me and my band!" He joked, then sat down beside her. He messed up her hair, then looked down at the envelope in her hands, "You gonna open it, or be a loser and stare at it all fucking day?"

Zacky received another eye roll from his kid sister, "Get off my dick Baker!" She screamed, then turned away from her elder brother. She placed her finger on the edges of the envelope and carefully ripped it open. Inside there was a piece of paper, and she pulled it out and opened it. Her eyes scanned it.

_Jay,_

_I hope to god that you're with Zacky... because if you're not, this was a waste of my time. Like I was a waste of yours. I miss you more than anything, and I can't stand the fact that you're not here. Please, I need you, but I don't think you're going to come back. You left without a word, meaning that you cared about me so little, that I wasn't even worth telling why you ditched. So I doubt this will effect you. But I'm writing this to tell you goodbye. You mean more to me than anything, and you deserve a goodbye from me. Julia, you ruined my life, but I still love you and I want to say goodbye. I love you more than anything, and I'm ending my life so I don't have to deal with this any longer. The night after you get this, I will be gone. I love you so much, and I'm sorry._

_I love you,_

_Shawn._

Her jaw fell open and tears swelled in her eyes and soon began running down her face. She wiped them away quickly, but she soon began sobbing. From the corner of her eye she saw Zacky walking oer to her, but she stood up and started walking away because she hated having people see her cry.

"Jay, where are you going? Whats wrong?" Zacky kept asking, while he was walking behind her.

She just shook her head. She couldn't tell Zacky... she didn't want to tell anyone. She took a deep breathe then turned around, "Zee, one of my friends really needs me right now... So I'm going to be gone for the next few days to go see him, alright?"

Zacky heard the pain in her voice, and he also saw it in her eyes. He just nodded... he knew Julia was stubborn, so she would tell him if she wanted to. He watched her walk up the stairs, then reappear a few moments later. Zacky walked up to her and demanded for her to hold out her hands, she did and he placed three thousand dollars in her hands.

"Zee, I can't take this..." She protested, as she glanced down at the money.

Zacky shrugged, "I don't need it, and I just want to ensure that your safe. So take it, and if you need more, just feel free to call me," She embraced her brother tightly, then she kissed his cheek.

Then the next thing Zacky knew, she was out the door.

-Back to reality-

The yellow Mustang Julia had rented roared down the street, and the music of her brother band roared on the speakers of the car. She drove to the town that was all too familiar, as she got closer to the house she had previously resided at, her favorite song came on. A guitar ripped through the sound, then the lead singer of the band, Matt, started screaming at the top of his lungs. Once he started screaming/singing, she pulled up into her old driveway, and admired her old house for a second. She stopped the car quickly, and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

She ran up to the house, and prayed that it wasn't too late. She pushed open the already unlocked door and ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. She got closer to her old room and memories started to flood her mind... so many amazing memories that she tried to hard to push away... she just wanted to leave this life... She pushed open the door, and saw the love of her life standing in the middle of the room, glancing at a gun.

He looked up at her, and his eyes were filled with pure shock.

Suddenly, this all just became humorous to Julia... she had no idea why, but she started laughing to herself. Suddenly she got a hold of herself, then starred at Shawn, "Shawnie, what are you doing?" She whispered to him.

Shawn couldn't even speak. He just had to take everything in, her voice, her laugh, her face, her eyes, her hair, her tattoos, her piercings, her scent... just her presence. Her hair and eye color remained the same, so did her voice, and laugh. She had more piercings and much more tattoos than the last time he saw her, and her sweet scent was now mixed with a scent of cigarettes and alcohol... Her innocence was just... gone. "What happened to you?" He questioned.

She hung her head, then shook her head, "You don't even want to know..." She told him, her tone sounded guilty, scared and disappointed.

Shawn nodded, "Yeah, I do... why did you leave me, and why didn't you fucking tell me?"He managed to shout, he was so angry right now... a sudden wave of anger had just taken over his body.

She laughed a little, "Put the fucking gun down and away first, then I'll try," He nodded, and walked over to their bed. He placed the gun in the box, placed the lid on, then slid it under their bed. She sighed in defeat once his actions were complete, "Shawn... I honestly don't know why I left..."

He groaned, "Julia, you obviously have to have some fucking reason, and if you don't tell me, I'll take that gun out and let my brains make a beautiful picture on the walls!"

She cringed at that thought, and her blue eyes brimmed with tears, she blinked and they cascaded down her face, "You wouldn't do that..." She whispered.

He nodded, "Yeah, I would..."

"But you can't..." She tried to plead with him.

"Oh yeah, and why wouldn't I?"He demanded.

"Because, you wouldn't hurt someone that's insanely in love with you!" She shouted, exposing her face to him. Her eyeliner was running now, and her face was wet with tears. He ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her into a hug.

"No," He whispered, "I would never hurt you..." He kissed the top of her head... "But why did you hurt me?"

She wiped her tears away, "Because Shawn, I don't have a fucking heart. All I usually care about is myself... well and you. And the fact that you were always gone made me insane. I couldn't cope, I started cutting myself. So I thought it was time for revenge... so one day, when you left, I left too."

"But Jay, that was my job..." He tried to reason with her.

"Yeah I know, but after I got pregnant with your child, I had to lose my dream. Then the fact that you couldn't quit for me, and our baby... it drove me insane, I lost the baby, and I thought I was losing you, so I left before you could leave me..."

Tears formed in Shawn's eyes, and started falling quickly, "Baby I would never leave you..."

She quickly pulled away from him, "Liar. You fucking liar. 'You'd never leave me'? Real funny, the reason why I'm here was because you found a way to leave me, when I'm not even around anymore." Shawn hung his head, "Hurts huh? Yeah, so don't bull shit me, because I know exactly how you've felt for the past few months..."

"I'm sorry," He told her.

"Sorry doesn't fix the cut wounds, heart break, wondering, pain, and make the tears go away," She spat at him, then turned away from him. She pulled a Marlboro out of a pack of cigarettes that was in her back pocket, and she placed it in her mouth. She grabbed her lighter out of her front pocket, then she lit the cigarette up. She inhaled the sweet nicotine, then she turned around and breathed out the smoke. "You made me pick up this lovely habit," She told him with a smile."

"I'm so sorry... for everything... please forgive me... I'd do anything to have you back..."

She giggled, "Yeah, well Shawn, how does it feel to want? I came here to make sure you were okay, not have some dramatic love story happen between us so we get back together again..."

"Well why not?" Shawn question, and he started walking closer to her, she took a few steps backward then leaned against the wall, he placed his hands on the side of her, "If we don't continue our love story, then I will have to end my story all together. You love me, and I love you. What's stopping us?"

"Me. I never want to deal with that hurt again..." She told him simply. She would be with him right now, but she never wanted to deal with the pain of him being gone ever again.

He laughed, "Babe, I don't want to deal with the pain of you being gone."

"Tough shit. Grow a set, and get over it," Her words were harsh, and she didn't mean them... but she needed a way for him to give up on her, without giving up on life.

He chuckled, "You just don't understand, do you? I would do anything to get you back. I mean anything... I've already retired..."

Her eyes lit up, "You retired?" He nodded, "Meaning you'll never be gone?" He nodded again. "Well, I think its time for a new start."

**A/N: Ending was a little fluffy, but I needed that. Enjoy!**


End file.
